Survival Seeds

Monday, April 26, 2010

Guest blogger : Mandy @ Campbell Family Party of 3

I have a friend whom I will feature on here periodically. Her family has one daughter , who is adopted, and has shown us so much through the whole process. I hope that this Q/A session could help someone out.

I have had several people email me about adoption! I have been keeping track of some of the questions and thought I would answer some of them here!

How did you tell Mist she was adopted? We just didn't tell her one day she was adopted. It was something she just always knew. When I did her baby book it included everything about her adoption. I will say that when she turned 6 the questions started coming more and more. I have read on this issue for years and my advice to other adoptive parents is be prepared. I have often had people criticize myself and Mr. Campbell with the amount of openness we have with Mist about her adoption. The way I look at it is this: Who am I to keep how she became our child away from her? I am proud of her, I am proud of how she became my daughter!

How does your family feel about adoption? Our family is our biggest support system hands down! I will say that when I first told my parents that we wanted to adopt I felt my dad wasn't on board 100% however that changed super fast and he is now one of Mist biggest supporters!! They have a bond like no other and I am so thankful for my parents. They traveled with us when Mist was born and those days of us all together in a hotel are days I will forever cherish. I have educated my family on adoption terms, adoption laws, etc. I take pride in the fact that my family members are all adoption advocates now!

What happens if Mist wants to find her birth family when she is older? I am pretty sure there isn't an IF here that there is a when. Mr. Campbell and I will be right beside her no questions ask.

What is your biggest fear in adoption? When Mist was a baby I made the mistake of reading stories. You know the stories about adult adoptee's that hated their life, hates their adoptive parents for taking them from their birth families etc. However I didn't surround myself with the awesome stories. I used to fear her hating me, hating me for raising her in Small Town USA. Hating me for taking her from her bio family. However now that years have passed I realize my biggest mistake was reading things on the Internet and not following my heart.

Any regrets? Once again when Mist was a baby I had so many people telling me horror stories! I counted down the days until Mist's adoption was finalized! I counted down the minutes because in my mind she was safe with me forever from that point on. However now I realize that her birth mother is one of the strongest women I have ever meet and she knew what she was doing when she placed her with us. I don't so much call it a regret but I feel like I spent way to much time hoping that all the legal work and the high amount of her adoption cost worked out!!

What made you start your blog? I started this blog because I felt like so many people didn't understand me. We live in a small town. I felt we were known as "the family that adopted that baby." I also had so many young couples that was asking me questions about adoption and wanted to know more about it. With that The Campbell Family Party of 3 was born!

Is Mist your daughter's real name? No, Mist is not her real name. When I started my blog I didn't know if I wanted to keep a fine line of privacy or not, so I used her nickname. Most people call her Mist just as much as they do her real name:)

Will you adopt again? We would LOVE to become the Party of 4! However you can't just decide one day you want to adopt and go from there. We have lawyers, paperwork, home studies, background checks, fingerprints etc to go through before we can even start to think about adoption again. Yes we would love to adopt again!

Any advice for young couples wanting to adopt? One of THE biggest hurdles we had with Mist's adoption was our age. However I think that made Mist's birth mom like us even more. We were young, we were in our prime and we wanted to be a young family. Mr. Campbell and I got married one week after I graduated high school and Mist was born 3 months after our first anniversary! Yes we were meant to be a family! =)

What is your best advice for a couple wanting to adopt? Wow..I have so much advice but I will stick to the bottom line here. Adoption isn't for everyone. I often have people ask me things like "Does she feel like your child?" "Would you love a bio child more?" I never even had these thoughts enter my mind. She is my child, and if for some miracle I do end up getting pregnant I will never feel any different for my bio child as I would towards Mist. She completes me, she made my heart whole, she was meant to be my child long before I knew what life had in store for me as a mother. If you want to adopt please find someone that has successfully adopted before and get some advice, find a lawyer, or an agency. DO NOT turn to the Internet for sources unless you know they are legit. Follow your heart. I had never in my life been affected by adoption and one day woke up and was like OMG I am going to adopt..when I told Mr. Campbell he thought I was crazy. I knew in my heart this was supposed to happen and it was supposed to happen NOW. Please also realize that adoption do not cure infertility issues. I think that any adoptive mother that can't conceive a child can relate to this. You have to realize that adoption makes you a mother, it doesn't make you pregnant.. I love adoption and wouldn't change one thing about how we became the Party of 3!-

Do you tweet? I do! Small_Town_USA

1 comment:

Michelle said...

What a neat lady!!