Survival Seeds

Friday, May 14, 2010

letting go of control

As I was bouncing on the boat seat as we were going across the water during the tournament this weekend, I began to think. I am a person who likes her t's crossed and her i's dotted. I don't like change and I like to plan. At Christmas where we go for family gatherings is orderly and sterile. If you ask me on December 6 to come to your house on the 24th at 7 I put down the information and a 1 is put by your even and circled. You were the first to ask. It continues as people keep asking. If there are changes, it is based on who asked and when. Kinda crazy I know, but it is my way of having some semblance of control. What I realized as I was bouncing on the seat of the boat is I have no control.

Boats aren't equipped with seat belt and I always felt out of sorts since all I have to hold onto as the passenger is a shiny bar in front of me. That shiny bar doesn't always help you out when poles are riding up. But when we hit the ways perfectly everything is okay and we are flying across the water. But then the waves from the larger boats start coming towards you and you have no control. You may just get splashed by some water or you may ride that wave up and the boat comes out of the water. You hear the engine revving up and then you hear (and feel!) the "SMACK!!!" as you come down, hitting the water.

I realized that life is the same way. We can be cruising along, not a care in the world and we ride the wave of life up and then all of a sudden there is nothing below us and we are stuck in mid-air. As we are stuck we are wondering what is getting ready to happen. But we have not control over what is getting ready to happen.

But it will be okay, we will all get through it. Some of these waves are bigger than others but there is the falling to look forward to because after the fall comes the calm and we can recoup and get ready for the next wave that will undoubtedly come. By letting go of the control that we so badly want, we can enjoy the ride and not expect what will come next.

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